soo... it seems my current musical mood is decidedly mainstream-hipstery and letter-s-oriented. all i've been listening to all week is the smiths, sonic youth and the streets. slap on a pair of skinny diesel jeans and faux eyelashes and a quirky name like "matilda," and i'm a bonafide williamsburg resident fo' sho'.
being alone is good. i don't know why, but i've been avoiding opening up my paper diary (which i've obsessively written in since the second grade)... maybe for fear of unplugging some kind of cache of pent-up emotions which i've been doing a very good job of keeping at bay. do you ever hit a point when you start doing a really kick-ass job of keeping everything inside? and you're, like, sooooo proud because you're not really letting anything get to you? and every time you're on the verge of tears you tell yourself a joke with a bad pun and make it better?
i'm in one of those places right now. which might sound a little emotionally taxing, or even boring, but it's not. it's just fine. i find it perfectly comfortable.
if i was going to be sad, it would be about people who drift in and out of my life like those fuzzy things that come off of cotton trees in the summer.
i've always been a headphones kind of girl, but the recent destruction of my beloved laptop (and hence prime ipod charger) has made music-listening-while-walking momentarily obsolete in my life. as a result, i've learned to love overhearing tiny pieces of peoples' sentences and trying to piece the rest together. today, for example, i heard a girl say, "thank you with five exclamation points" while she was talking on her cell phone. questions arose. was she beginning a new trend of incorporating puntuation marks in conversation, just as the kids have with their web-speak? or was she quoting a thank you note or e-mail she'd received from a particularly grateful person? or was she ordering a cake, on which she wanted "thank you!!!!!" written? if she was, indeed, trying to incorporate punctuation marks into daily vernacular, i would be excited to hear someone effectively use the tilde. i've been trying to think of a way to make it work, but all i can come up with is reacting to something funny by saying, "el oh el, three exclamation points, the number one, two more exclamation points tilde!" [LOL!!!1!!~], and that just seemed a little awkward to me.
i'm very, very sad about jane magazine. jane was always the magazine i read in the bath. now what will i read in the bath? sometimes, when i wanted to read a magazine in the bath but i had already read jane that month, i'd buy a replacement (like glamour or lucky) but those ones sucked and left me feeling unsatisfied. i kind of like nylon, but it's a little too hipstery for me (i know you didn't think it was possible, what wih this s-s-s phase, but sometimes i listen to decidedly un-hipstery music such as hillary duff or avril lavigne, and i'm not ashamed of that at all).
tonight vince is having a hell of party. i'm nervous to go to this party. i'm scared of parties. there will be one hundred people from penn who i don't know. would that scare you? vince always dresses so fashionably. yesterday he wore pastel yellow shorts. and they looked really great.
on tuesday i am going to see the shout out louds (another s! i'm squeamish), and that will be great, because i actually have not yet gone to a concert in newyorkcity. i know you think that's all kinds of wrong. it is. i've been tired and i haven't had any money. so i haven't done any shopping, either -- shocker. but you know what? i've EATEN a SHIT TON of GOOD FOOD. and that's almost better.
yesterday i did yoga and it was a mind-fuck